A LETTER TO MY HATERS

A powerful message about self love, facing confrontation and addressing hatred from a beautiful soul/ good friend of mine, Amber De Los Santos.

Amber De Los Santos

Amber053

I guess there must be something in the air lately, because this past week I’ve gotten several hate messages (of course all anonymously) on my curious cat profile. If you don’t know what curious cat is, it’s an app that lets people submit anonymous confessions or questions they have for you.

You would think they would be positive or funny questions, and although I have gotten several of those, 90% of my messages are negative hate about my appearance, my personality, and my relationships.

I know what you are thinking “If you don’t care about these messages, why address it? Why respond? Why write about it?” or you are thinking “LOL I’m one of those people and nothing you say, write or do will change my thought on who you are. You’re ugly and have a big nose and you are an awful human being.”

Quite frankly my dear, I…

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victim

victim

Your value is not

radiating in your uterus,

like a jewel that can be stolen.

And when he was there,

he found nothing

but an emptiness,

all too familiar.

The burden is his,

it is not yours to bear.

He did not break you.

Look at yourself,

you will find

that you are whole.

Be ashamed,

not in the way

they want you to be.

Be ashamed

of the society

that raised him

to do this

and told you

to feel guilty for it.

paralyzed

paralyzed

Shadow man,

where have you been?

Long since I’ve seen you,

my treacherous friend.

Chimerical chemist,

soaring swiftly as I sleep.

Cover my mouth,

so that I cannot speak.

Demonic dream taker,

paralyze me with fear.

Stand over my bed,

Grin from ear to ear.

Chest pressing incubus,

lay me down to rest.

Try to control me,

and please try your best.

 

two lips

two lips

I am a seed,
My father gave me

The roots

That ground me to this earth
That tell me who I am,

Where I belong.

My mother gave me

The stem
That helped me grow


Bending but never breaking,

Through the storms

My mind is the bud,
Waiting to blossom.

Beautiful and bewildering.

The veins in my tightened petals

Expand quickly,

Stretching in the sunshine,

Closer every day.

My stem is bending
toward the light,
Binding me to the soil.

My roots grow deeper

As my stem grows taller
And my flower burns brighter

Than ever before.

nurture

nurture

From the moment we are conceived,

We take from our mothers.

First we take their bodies,

We stretch and deform their wombs.

We rip our mothers from the inside out,

And they cry tears of joy.

We drink them up,

Until they’re dry.

Gnawing, sucking, chewing…

Until their breasts are swollen and tender.

And still they show us unconditional love.

We are intruders in their homes,

Screaming and wailing,

Soiling the sheets,

Dirtying the floors,

Never paying any mind.

Yet they smile at us while we sleep,

And stroke our sparse baby hairs,

Until the tears subside.

We hit and we kick,

As they clean our defecation.

We do not hear the frustration,

The tears shed behind closed doors,

begging us to please,

please,

please…

Mothers think of us–

Of all our wants and needs–

Before we can even declare them,

They are met.

They show us mercy,

Matched only by God Himself.

We disrespect,

Antagonize,

Rebel against them,

While they fight for us.

We do not see the hours spent wondering,

Worrying,

Where is she?

Is she safe?

Who is she with?

Do they care

Like I care?

We take their concern and toss it away,

Like used diapers.

Never knowing that mom didn’t get any sleep,

That night,

While you were out,

Spending the love,

That you took

From your mother.

how to be strong

how to be strong

What do you do 

When you have a baby girl?

You look at her as an infant

And think to yourself:

“I am going to teach her how valuable she is,”

“I am going to tell her that she is capable of anything,”

“I am going to show her how to be strong.”

But there are no words to

determine her worth.

And there is no way to tell her

what she can accomplish.

And there is nothing you can do 

to show her power.

So you lead by example,

And hope that she sees

Because you don’t have the words.

But the world tells her 

what you cannot.

The world tells her 

what you would never:

She is not enough.

She is not as important.

She is too sensitive.

Too fat.

Too quiet.

Too dumb.

She watches you

Pinch at your tummy

And sigh at the scale.

She hears you

Cry when he leaves, 

Swear you’ve nothing left to live for.

She notices

The way you water yourself down,

Make yourself small,

Tame the fire that burns within you.

One day she comes home,

She grips her baby fat

And cries.

She gets a crush on a boy

And forgets herself.

She dumbs herself down,

Spruces herself up

And you no longer recognize 

The baby girl you held 

All those years ago.

What do you do

When you feel that you failed?

You look at the woman 

you raised,

And think to yourself:

“I never taught her how valuable she is,”

“I never told her she was capable of anything,”

“I never showed her

how to be strong.”

agraphia

agraphia

Feeling uninspired

In a world that’s fueled by hate.

People love their emptiness,

And I just cannot relate.

Feeling uninspired

By this nations heavy weight.

We consume the entire Earth,

And use children as our bait.

Feeling uninspired 

When our leaders arrogate.

Perhaps we should make a change,

But we leave it up to fate.