growth

A flower needs sunlight

And water

To survive.

I used to crave the shining sun,

But avoid the stormy evening.

Then I loved the rain,

More than the rainbow.

I dried out.

I wilted.

I drowned.

I think I’m starting to find my balance.

dear mimi

It’s your birthday today,

How do you feel?

I hope you feel well,

And whole,

And happy.

I’ve missed you tremendously,

And I have much to say.

I went to New York,

The lights reminded me of you.

I’d like to move there one day,

Wouldn’t that be something?

To live in a city,

As unique as my Mimi.

I hope you are dancing,

And laughing,

And lighting the room.

You know,

Sometimes I look up,

At the sky, late at night,

And I pick the brightest star–

I imagine it’s you,

Watching from afar.

Shining, just like always.

Maybe it’s not a star at all,

But Jupiter or Venus.

Wouldn’t that be just like you?

To be more than a star.

One day I’ll join you,

Up in the night sky.

But until then I’ll miss you,

Every day that goes by.

forget-me-not

I am the flower you buy for your lover,

Plucked from the home I once knew,

Left to die in your favorite convenience store.

The clerk wraps me in shiny plastic packaging.

You take me home to your wife.

She shoves me into a vase of tap water.

I try to move myself toward the light,

But I am trapped inside this glass contraption.

I am gasping for air,

Drowning and wilting.

Three days have passed,

You toss me out with the rest of your trash.

My last petal drops,

He loves me not.

insecure

The monster in my head,

Is a mistress of misery.

Instead of punches,

She throws insults,

Back and forth across my skull.

 

Fat.

Ugly.

Stupid.

Useless.

 

Everywhere I go,

She follows me.

When I look in the mirror,

She taunts me.

She guides my eyes to the places she hates most,

And tells me to hate them, too.

 

Fat.

Ugly. 

Stupid.

Useless.

 

Her words stab like a shiv,

molded out of soap in a prison cell,

Where I am the prisoner,

And she is the guard.

I long to see the light again.

Oh how I wish she would set me free.

focus

When you come around,

I lose sight of reality.

 

My mind starts wonder.

My heart starts to wander.

My head fills with memories.

My chest fills with pain.

 

You are a dream that makes this world seem dull.

 

When you come around,

I forget who I am.

 

My mind starts to worry.

My heart starts to hurt.

My head fills with guilt.

My chest fills with confusion.

 

You know me best without knowing me at all.

 

When you come around,

I am full of regret.

 

My mind starts to spin.

My heart starts to skip.

My head fills with thoughts.

My chest fills with grief.

 

You are the streetlamp that lights up the darkness.

 

When you come around,

I can’t seem to focus.

 

My mind starts to open.

My heart start to sink.

My head fills with poetry.

My chest fills with honey.

 

You are clear as day and the rest is a blur.

 

arson

I read a story
about a mother
who set fire
to her home
and killed her daughter.
Sometimes, I feel like
the daughter.
the gas can.
even, the mother.

victim

Your value is not

radiating in your uterus,

like a jewel that can be stolen.

And when he was there,

he found nothing

but an emptiness,

all too familiar.

The burden is his,

it is not yours to bear.

He did not break you.

Look at yourself,

you will find

that you are whole.

Be ashamed,

not in the way

they want you to be.

Be ashamed

of the society

that raised him

to do this

and told you

to feel guilty for it.

paralyzed

Shadow man,

where have you been?

Long since I’ve seen you,

my treacherous friend.

Chimerical chemist,

soaring swiftly as I sleep.

Cover my mouth,

so that I cannot speak.

Demonic dream taker,

paralyze me with fear.

Stand over my bed,

Grin from ear to ear.

Chest pressing incubus,

lay me down to rest.

Try to control me,

and please try your best.

 

two lips

I am a seed,
My father gave me

The roots

That ground me to this earth
That tell me who I am,

Where I belong.

My mother gave me

The stem
That helped me grow

Bending but never breaking,

Through the storms

My mind is the bud,
Waiting to blossom.

Beautiful and bewildering.

The veins in my tightened petals

Expand quickly,

Stretching in the sunshine,

Closer every day.

My stem is bending
toward the light,
Binding me to the soil.

My roots grow deeper

As my stem grows taller
And my flower burns brighter

Than ever before.

nurture

From the moment we are conceived,

We take from our mothers.

First we take their bodies,

We stretch and deform their wombs.

We rip our mothers from the inside out,

And they cry tears of joy.

We drink them up,

Until they’re dry.

Gnawing, sucking, chewing…

Until their breasts are swollen and tender.

And still they show us unconditional love.

We are intruders in their homes,

Screaming and wailing,

Soiling the sheets,

Dirtying the floors,

Never paying any mind.

Yet they smile at us while we sleep,

And stroke our sparse baby hairs,

Until the tears subside.

We hit and we kick,

As they clean our defecation.

We do not hear the frustration,

The tears shed behind closed doors,

begging us to please,

please,

please…

Mothers think of us–

Of all our wants and needs–

Before we can even declare them,

They are met.

They show us mercy,

Matched only by God Himself.

We disrespect,

Antagonize,

Rebel against them,

While they fight for us.

We do not see the hours spent wondering,

Worrying,

Where is she?

Is she safe?

Who is she with?

Do they care

Like I care?

We take their concern and toss it away,

Like used diapers.

Never knowing that mom didn’t get any sleep,

That night,

While you were out,

Spending the love,

That you took

From your mother.